Date: Jan 29
Hare: Trailer Park Redneck
Weather: Cool, misty
Any day that begins with a dreamy gondola ride in the clouds and ends with the smell of monkey shit in your nostrils is going to be a different day out at least. And so it proved……
We gathered at the Zhinan Temple Gondola station awaiting the long return of Trailer Park Redneck, who had chosen this day of days to end his self imposed exile from the hash-and indeed the world- and hare a run in his backyard: Muzha.
On arrival he quickly appropriated some random second time runner-newly named Trailer Park Bitch- to be his co-hare and off he went. A short while later the gaggle of dizzy women were off- in the opposite direction to the flour…..after much ado about nothing they were sent the right way. The men then hung around a few minutes longer, talking crap and watching Miss Titties attempt to take a photo of returning runner, Boring English C*nt’s ball sack….
And so the run began. We initially headed up and over the brow of the hill, winding left and right, eventually hitting a small road. Along here and then into what can only be described as a ‘shitty trail’, a technical term new hashers may need to look up in the Worldwide Guide to Hashing.
This trail had every ingredient you didn’t want- it was woefully narrow, painfully slippery and muddy, it was placed at an angle of 45 degrees, and if you lost your footing you were going down like Firebird at a male orgy…..Not only that it went on for what seemed like an eternity, leaving me worried that we were in for a run something akin to the monstrosity pumped out by Mr.Titties and TPR last year……
But, it was not to be..salvation was at hand in the form of an ever-improving, intricate, and thoroughly runnable run. Given that the run was a little too long-and long ago now- for this tired old scribe to remember every detail I’ll mention one or two of my personal highlights and lowlights….BTW First Man In was BVS, FBI The Leash……
Highlight: Large sections of excellently runnable single-track trails that were exhilarating to run on
Lowlight: The aforementioned ‘shitty trail’ that really got my back up
Highlight: Lovely sections of terraced agriculture
Lowlight: Due to being 80% fit, having to run anywhere near such beauty with the slow people…and when I say slow, I mean it in every imaginable sense….as the hare said, “You have to run with the A-Team or not at all.” Right on B.A.
Highlight: Cunning Checks
Lowlight: Getting lost for 15 minutes each at 2 of these cunning checks.
Highlight: The run through the zoo at the end
Lowlight: Dodging the punters visiting the zoo who seemed to gravitate towards oncoming runners like moths to a flame..’tards..
Highlight: Despite getting lost, having a dodgy hip, still finishing at an okay speed.
Lowlight: Getting beaten by Cock Sucking Jew
Overall a very good run, with a good mix of trails and smart checks. Overall, marking was good with one or two sketchy moments (notably the bamboo grove with zero flour in it…in the hare’s defense he said it was because he got lost in there himself)….
The Score: A solid 8/10