Hares: Dump n Run and C*nt of the Litter
Location: Shifen/ Pingxi
Weather: Sunny with some clouds…nice…..
The hares had promised a very runnable run in the scenic and touristy area of Shifen and it has to be said they did not disappoint. A decent turn out gathered at the starting point and the hares set off on time.
The first part of the run took us through the cute ‘town along the train tracks’ and down to the suspension bridge where the first check greeted us. Trailer Park Redneck with local knowledge turned immediately back and led us back to the tracks. We continued past shops and gazing tourists and hit the flour quickly. It was then up into the hills to the next check which was found pretty easily. After some decent uphill running we came to the train tracks and another check. This one had us stumped for a while but we eventually dog-legged the tracks, popped up onto a concrete bridge and found the trail. Again, in true China Hash spirit, it was every man for himself- no calls, no nothing!! That’s the spirit!!
With this is mind. TPR, Vulture. Fart of Darkness and a few others managed to get the lead and head off along some of this run’s best trails. Gradually undulating, completely runnable trails that were just great to tear down. DWE, VBS, and Why My Gay were in the chasing group and were trotting along at a decent pace when the Gods smiled down upon them……coming to a fork in the trail they saw Fart of Darkness to the right wandering in circles like a ‘tard, obviously at a check and doing his best Rocket Man impression….
Seeing the trail veering off to the left right by them, these three now took the lead of the hash and continued apace along some ripping trails…..could this be their day? Could these three heroes get the jump on the pack and ride the crest of a wave to glory?
COULD THEY F*CK!!!!
The cunning stunts Dump n Run and C*nt of the Litter had one more major trick up their grubby sleeves….As the front three followed the trail down they eventually hit the river, turning right along some extremely slick rocks (which the considerate hares had marked with chalk, “Slick Rocks”) and across a moderately deep pool to the other side…where they came upon a check…
This check marked the end of DWEs, VBSs and Why My Gay’s hopes as 10 minutes later they were still looking for the on-on and by this time the other front runners had joined them in the fruitless search for flour……of course no one wanted to head back across the pool and up the slick rocks, and veteran hasher “Vulture” (a hare in this particular area many times, no less) shook his head saying,
” Head back across there? There’s no way the hares would do that. No, it’s not that way?”
Of course, 5 minutes later, the rest of the hash descended upon the river, and some walking girls fearful of the pool decided to ignore it walk the other way along the river and find the flour in 2 minutes flat……..
Oh how the tables had turned……the front runners were now completely LAST!!!
Along the river for a while we then came to some small concrete dams/river controls and had to edge our way along the sides to avoid the green putrid water below- although some did take a spill in here. Smells Like Piss ended up straight in the most horrific part of this section and came out actually smelling better than when he went in….
Anyway, after we got out of this we were able to scramble up some rocks and then back onto some nice trails once more which zig-zagged nicely and eventually brought us back to the train tracks…….here we were able to sprint down in order to try to salvage respectability, passing random women, children, and fat people along the way……..
We then essentially retraced the start of the run down to the road and to the ON-IN (along the way a rather silly check atop the coal tower had some fooled which slowed US even more)…where try as I might I still couldn’t reel in Anal Receptacle…..totally embarrassing!
Great variety, scenic, largely runnable, with tricky checks. The hares delivered what they said they would and I rate this as a very decent hash run as opposed to a straight trail run. Good checks which really shook up the natural order of things for a week. Wifebeater first in, Arthur ya Fag second, the rest of the runners mixed in with everyone else at random intervals….good fun!!
I’d give this run a solid 8.5/10.